The Electric Commentary

Sunday, April 25, 2004

BOWLING FOR CANADA

Michael Moore, resident big fat idiot of the left side of the political spectrum, has recently out-sourced his web design to our friendly neighbors to the north.

Michael Moore, is of course the award winning director, star, and apparently caterer of the faux-documentary “Bowling for Columbine” as well as his famous “Roger and Me,” and the author of several best selling but poorly written books. He portrays himself as a warrior for the working man, frequently appearing in grubby clothing and a baseball hat while making the case for higher wages for auto workers, teachers, and McDonalds’ employees. Of course nowadays Mikey doesn’t ever buy cars, as he’s flown around in a corporate jet and limo by his book publisher. He shows his confidence in the public school teacher by sending his children (Yes, that’s right, he actually HAS children. We can only hope that he had the foresight to name one of them “Comic Book Guy Moore.”) to private school. And we can all see that the labor practices of McDonalds have not dissuaded Mike from patronizing that establishment.

It should therefore not be surprising that he would take this hypocritical step and send American jobs across the border into Canada. Fortunately, this is an excellent opportunity to examine the benefits of free trade. You see Michael Moore clearly felt that he was not getting the bang for his buck with the American web design industry. Maybe the fact that Canadian money is worth about 2/3 of its American counterpart allowed him to get a deal. At any rate, what is important is that even though an American programmer lost an opportunity, the savings to Mr. Moore are not just lost into thin air. Perhaps instead of McDonalds, he’ll upgrade to Taco Bell, or, if he’s lucky, Wendy’s. Since he seems to think that Halliburton is doing so much war profiteering, perhaps he will invest in some stock. He could by tons of things. Carb-blockers, his own prescription medication, a pair of pants that are not sweat pants, or even a better script writer for his documentaries. The savings from outsourcing may create jobs in the medical industry, the fast food industry, the textile industry, and in film.

And a scriptwriter is just the tip of the iceberg. He may add employees for other functions. Maybe his new web-site will allow him to increase production of his poorly written books, which will require new employees, which he can now afford thanks to outsourcing. But the single biggest advantage of outsourcing from Michael Moore, is that now he can donate more money to his candidates of choice (like Ralph Nader!) and when they get into office, they can finally crack down on all of the outsourcing taking away American jobs.

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