The Electric Commentary

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

If You Were Worried That America Wasn't Fat Enough...

Worry no more. Krispy Kreme unveils the liquid doughnut. If McDonald's creates the intra-venous-Big-Mac I'm leaving the country.

Update: Good commentary on this abomination at Diztopia.

As a longtime Krispy Kreme enthusiast, I set off to determine if mankind was ready for this evolutionary leap forward. Arriving at KK with trusty Agent L (pictured above, undercover) as backup, I inquired of the dour KK kounter-man, prithee, what is the Frozen Blended Beverage made of? "It's a drink," he answered. Yes, that I got from the poster showing the product as a liquid in a cup, but what's in it? Milk? Is it like a milkshake thing? At this point, his jaw began working mechanically, and he called for his manager. Uh oh.

The manager came storming up to the counter, and when we asked her the same questions, she barked "It's a blended ... frozen beverage!" She was sticking to the company line, even though it should have been rendered "frozen blended beverage." But before she could call security, the counterman suddenly interjected, "We don’t know what it is. It's just powder. They just send it to us and we mix it with ice." I thought the manager was going to snap his head off for such impertinence.


This was my favorite line:

Would it be possible to just freebase that donut powder for a direct connection between cosmic donut essence and the human soul?

2 Comments:

  • Cocktail Recipe - The Chocolate Eclair

    Buy one Liquid Krispy Kreme Donut. Bring it home and put it in the fridge (freezer if it will not be consumed right away).

    Take 1 and 1/2 shots of vodka, 1/2 a shot of Bailey's Irish Cream, 1/2 a shot of creme de cacao and the liquid donut and combine with ice in shaker.

    Poor into 2 martini glasses.

    Take 1/2 shot of Godiva chocolate liqueur. Poor over an inverted spoon into glasses. It should form a chocolate layer over the top.

    Enjoy!

    For an extra touch of class:
    Before serving, wet the rim of each martini glass and coat with sprinkles.

    Note: Make sure you have a designated driver available to drive you to the hospital.

    By Blogger PaulNoonan, at 2:42 PM  

  • For more fun, ask a Starbucks employee, "What's in a Frappucinco?"

    If they say "coffee" they're telling a half-truth. It's "instant coffee" and tastes nothing like the real deal.
    It's then combined with some goop from a box that can be stored at room temperature. No real cream there.

    A "Venti" Frappucinco with whipped cream has in the neighborhood of 500 calories...yum!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:23 AM  

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