The Electric Commentary

Friday, July 30, 2004

Sure, I'd love to help pay for your gastric bypass.

Afterall, obesity is a disease now. Or so says the Federal Government. Secretary of Health and Human Services Tommy Thompson announced Thursday that Medicare will now cover obesity. The Federal Government is eliminating the part of its Medicare policy that states obesity is not an illness.

Well, if it is an illness I sure hope I don't catch it. I saw this woman in the cafeteria at work today pound two Arby's regular roast beefs a large order of fries and like 82 ounces of coke. Last week I saw one of our security guard eat five cinnamon roles for lunch. If I came down with a bad case of obesity and it made me eat crap like that, I'd probably get fat. These people are everywhere. Apparently this disease also makes you think that taking the stairs instead of the elevator, or walking for twenty minutes, three times a week is "exercise."

One positive effect of this is that, because Medicare will only cover procedures that are proven to be effective, we will, for the first time, have reliable data on methods for losing weight according to the Department of Health and Human Services.

So we'll have reliable data on effective weight loss for the first time? Really? Here's some reliable data. Eating less food and healthier food and exercising is an effective way to lose weight. We've known this for years. We're just lazy now.

I suppose its easy for me to say that. I'm the ideal weight for my height. I run under five minutes in a mile. I bench 75 pounds more than I weigh. But at one point in my life I was infected with obesity. At 13, I weighed 160 lbs, about what I weigh now that I'm 8 inches taller than I was than. It wasn't easy to lose weight but I did it and now I'm happy as hell that I did. And I did it by myself. I didn't ask anybody to help me pay for it unless you count the new pair of Adidas my mom bought me.

Here's what I know about weight loss.
Fact: If you exercise like I do, you WILL be fit.
Here's how:
1) Work out EVERY DAY for 1-3 HOURS.
2) When you work out, work out HARD. I see all these people that have obesity, and a lot that are just on their way, at the gym riding the bike at 65 rpms or walking on the treadmill. That's not gonna cut it. Try 110 rpms. Try Running.
3) Lift weights. Aerobic exercise won't cut it alone. You need to get stronger to lose weight.
4) Quit eating crap. Food is fuel. Try to look at it as such. Base your meal on your next workout. Eat what you will need to get through that long bike ride or that tough upper body weight workout you're doing this afternoon.

If that doesn't work, I'll pay for the damn lyposuction.



3 Comments:

  • Maybe if someone spent another 1-3 hours a day on his law school homework...

    Harsh.

    When I get home from work at night, I have 3.5 hours until I have to go to sleep. Could be tough to squeeze in those three hours of exercise.

    By Blogger PaulNoonan, at 4:06 PM  

  • To quote a wise man, Mr. Miyagi, "Balance not just for karate, balance for life." I spend plenty of time on my homework. I spend plenty of time working out. I spend plenty of time enjoying the company of friends. 3.5 hours is plenty of time to get in one sold hour of working out.

    By Blogger DannyNoonan, at 10:00 AM  

  • This just in...

    Old Country Buffet faces federal quarantine. More at 11...

    By Blogger RyanSimatic, at 2:33 AM  

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