The Electric Commentary

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

In the mind of...

A.J. Smith (GM, Chargers, to the tune of Old Man River) –
Philip Rivers, that Philip Rivers,
The thought of Flutie, makes LT quiver.
Philip Rivers, yes Philip Rivers,
This holdouts gone on too long.

Philly fans everywhere upon seeing TO “alligator arm” a ball over the middle –
Hey TO, if you can dodge a ball, you can dodge a battery!

Dave Wannstedt (Interviewing Antonio Freeman) –
Antonio, we’ve had a little problem with a receiver working out too much. Especially his upper body. And we think that performance-enhancing drugs may have lead to a recent injury. So my question is, you’re not compulsive about working out, are you?

Antonio Freeman –
Sir, I can honestly say that I haven’t worked out in 6 years.

Tim Brown –
Time to retire to Florida.

Rich Gannon –
OK Warren, pay attention. That’s the game room, were not allowed in there. That’s the library, we’re not allowed in there. Your best bet is to stake out a nice spot at the staring window.

Ricky Williams (Tune of No Woman, No Cry, Bob Marley) –
I remember, when we used to sit,
On the government beach in Miami,
Then I would take a fire light and
Strike up the pipe and
Share with the good people all around
No Ricky, no cry
No Ricky, no cry
Here, little fins fan, don’t shed no tears,
No Ricky, no cry

Drew Bennet (to Derrick Mason) – How you doin’ in McNair Bingo? All I need is that Jason Giambi disease.

Derrick – OK. I got broken foot, pulled groin, concussion, and turf toe, all in a row, but I need either hysterical pregnancy, or shin splints plus helmet getting crazy glued to head. Could be tough. I hear that Bulluck only needs a separated shoulder. That hardly seems fair.

And Finally…

TO – I would just like to clarify my statements about Jeff Garcia. In a recent issue of Playboy, I implicated that he was gay by saying: “If it looks like a rat, and smells like a rat, etc.”
I’m deeply sorry about my comments. I, in no way, meant to disparage rats…

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