The Electric Commentary

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

The EC Football Spectacular! or

Hello Children. Welcome to Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. I’m Detroit Lions wide receiver Charles Rogers, and today I would like to talk to you about the importance of drinking milk…

We have a new TO!

Since I’m stuck down here in Wisconsin’s version of Mexico I am forced to watch Bears games in a clockwork-orange like setup that causes me to have horrible stomach pains whenever I hear Brian Baldinger’s voice. I have, however, developed an affinity for one Bear in particular: David Terrell (Henceforth known as DT).

He’s great! He has all of TO’s bravado, but he has almost no ability to back it up. Sure he had an OK game on Sunday, but he was the intended receiver on the final Bears offensive play that was intercepted, and he received one of the greatest taunting penalties ever when he made a 35 yard catch and kept running up the sidelines for another 20 yards, finally flipping the ball to the Lions punter. The Bears were docked 15 yards at a crucial moment. After the game, he had the gall to complain about the officiating,. There are few things that are more enjoyable than “blame everyone else” wide receivers.

I look forward to watching David for years to come. I’m sure he has at least 4 more “single-handedly lost the game” moments in him. Way to go Bears! You’ve got another winner.

Conspiracy to Celebrate

The NFL has introduced a new penalty this year. A team will incur a 15 yard penalty if more than one player celebrates a play in any choreographed fashion. Conspiracy to celebrate! They need to change the call to CTC. So one player may perform all of the stupid celebrations that he wants (Note: No props are allowed. Woe to those who commit armed conspiracy to celebrate), but if someone else joins in, it is a penalty. I believe that there was a concerted effort to flaunt this rule (especially by the Vikings, who spent at least as much time on group choreography as on learning the game plan) and I look for it to continue in the coming weeks. At least until Marcus Robinson blows out his hammy doing the moonwalk.

Does anybody have Gilbert Brown’s phone number handy?

The Packers had an impressive victory on Monday night, on the road, against Super Bowl losers, the Carolina Panthers. If you doubt the importance of a solid offensive line, I give you this game as exhibit 1A. The Panthers retained their entire impressive defense, their 2 wide receivers (although Steve Smith now appears lost for the season with a broken leg) and their all-pro RB Stephen Davis. The Panthers only real change this off-season came in the offensive line, and the play of their offensive line completely neutered all of their strengths. Stephen Davis could not run (even though Grady Jackson was absent for nearly the entire game) and Jake Delhomme was under constant pressure.

The Packers were a distinct contrast. Their offensive line dominated and beat up the Panthers vaunted defense. Ahman Green ran at will until the final quarter when everyone knew that a run was coming. Even then he was rarely stopped for less than 2 yards. While Ahman is a great back, and Brett is Brett, the O-line is clearly the Packers most valuable asset. In the sad days after Brett and Ahman move on to Football Valhalla, this team can still be competitive if they have the wisdom to maintain that offensive line.

But we do need a new fat guy. Resident fat guy nose tackle Grady Jackson dislocated his knee yesterday and will probably miss at least 6 weeks. Anyone who has watched this team for any length of time can tell you that the defense functions much more efficiently with a huge fat guy in the middle. I am, however, encouraged by how well they played last night. Hopefully Grady’s injury is not too serious, but don’t be surprised if Gilbert’s name is mentioned in the next few days.

Quick Hitters:

Joey Galloway is injured!
And in other news, the sun will set in the west this evening.

Jerome Bettis is on pace to rush for 16 yards this season.

Jerome Bettis is also on pace to score 48 touchdowns this season, shattering the record currently held by Priest Holmes.

Non-football note of the week.

Texas Rangers relief pitcher Frank Francisco got into a scuffle (scuffle being French for “assault and battery”) when he hurled a chair (Note: or as they say in wrestling a “steel chair”) at some Oakland fans. Apparently no one told him that the Raider’s game was already over (and that it was in Pittsburgh).

More tomorrow! And we’ll go inside the mind of several NFL stars to see how they’re reacting to week one.

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