The Electric Commentary

Monday, September 20, 2004

The Fat Lady Sings

I came across, by way of Drudge, this attempt by Michael Moore to rally the liberal troops in their time of need. It's a good read if you've recently swallowed some poison.

Enough of the handwringing! Enough of the doomsaying! Do I have to come there and personally calm you down?

I wouldn't exactly call the effect you have on me "calming" Mike, so please don't.

Geez, this is embarrassing! The Republicans are laughing at us. Do you ever see them cry, "Oh, it's all over! We are finished! Bush can't win! Waaaaaa!"
Hell no. It's never over for them until the last ballot is shredded. They are never finished -- they just keeping
[sic] moving forward like sharks that never sleep, always pushing, pulling, kicking, blocking, lying.

Those damned kicking, pushing, lying sharks!

They are relentless and that is why we secretly admire them -- they just simply never, ever give up. Only 30% of the country calls itself "Republican," yet the Republicans own it all -- the White House, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court and the majority of the governorships. How do you think they've been able to pull that off considering they are a minority? It's because they eat you and me and every other liberal for breakfast and then spend the rest of the day wreaking havoc on the planet.

I think, Mr. Moore, that the answer to your question lies within your question. How do "they" beat "us" when only 30% of Americans are Republicans? Because not everybody looks at things in terms of "us" and "them" like you do. I should hope that no more than 30% of Americans agree with the Republican stance on all, or even most issues. But the same goes for Democrats. What's your source on that statistic anyway and why don't you give the equivalent on the other side? And Mike, isn't it about time to perpetuate a stereotype?

If I hear one more person tell me how lousy a candidate Kerry is and how he can't win... Dammit, of COURSE he's a lousy candidate -- he's a Democrat, for heavens sake! That party is so pathetic, they even lose the elections they win! What were you expecting, Bruce Springsteen heading up the ticket? Bruce would make a helluva president, but guys like him don't run -- and neither do you or I. People like Kerry run.

There it is. All democrats make lousy Candidates. All of them. Not one of them would run as fine a campaign as, say, The Boss. Not even....

My friends, it is time for a reality check.
2. Kerry has brought in the Clinton A-team. Instead of shunning Clinton (as Gore did), Kerry has decided to not make that mistake.

Wait a minute. I'm no historian, but wasn't Clinton a (gasp) Democrat? Wouldn't that make him a lousy candidate? Is Kerry insane? Wasn't the Dole A-Team available?

1. The polls are wrong. They are all over the map like diarrhea. On Friday, one poll had Bush 13 points ahead -- and another poll had them both tied. There are three reasons why the polls are b.s.: One, they are polling "likely voters." "Likely" means those who have consistently voted in the past few elections. So that cuts out young people who are voting for the first time and a ton of non-voters who are definitely going to vote in THIS election. Second, they are not polling people who use their cell phone as their primary phone. Again, that means they are not talking to young people. Finally, most of the polls are weighted with too many Republicans, as pollster John Zogby revealed last week. You are being snookered if you believe any of these polls.

Mike did you poop on your atlas? So you can provide us with these two links but nothing about WHICH POLLS YOU ARE REFERRING TO or HOW THEY COMPILE THEIR RESULTS. I'm sure there are polls that compile their results in the manner you say and there are pols showing the results that point out, but by now, we know you Mike. Unless you give me some reason to believe that these are in fact the same polls, I don't trust you any more than Old Country Buffet does.

3. ...Do not let those well-produced Bush rallies of angry white people scare you. Turn off the TV! (Except Jon Stewart and Bill Moyers -- everything else is just a sugar-coated lie).

Hey, lets perpetuate another stereotype! And do you ever stop thinking about lies and sugar?

4. Conventional wisdom says if the election is decided on "9/11" (the fear of terrorism), Bush wins. But if it is decided on the job we are doing in Iraq, then Bush loses. And folks, that "job," you might have noticed, has descended into the third level of a hell we used to call Vietnam. There is no way out. It is a full-blown mess of a quagmire and the body bags will sadly only mount higher. Regardless of what Kerry meant by his original war vote, he ain't the one who sent those kids to their deaths -- and Mr. and Mrs. Middle America knows it. Had Bush bothered to show up when he was in the "service" he might have somewhat of a clue as to how to recognize an immoral war that cannot be "won." All he has delivered to Iraq was that plasticized turkey last Thanksgiving. It is this failure of monumental proportions that is going to cook his goose come this November.

So this war is as bad as Vietnam and people in the National Guard deserve to be referred to with quotation marks around "service." After all, they're not really soldiers. They aren't really "serving" their country. Where do you get off Mike? And quit referring to our troops as "kids." They are men and women who chose to fight for their country and they deserve our respect.

WAKE UP! The majority are with us! More than half of all Americans are pro-choice, want stronger environmental laws, are appalled that assault weapons are back on the street -- and 54% now believe the war is wrong.

Back to the "us" and "them." Bush's record on the environment has been severely misconstrued by people in the "us" camp. It's actually pretty good, or at least it could be. And is that 54% of people that don't use their cell phone as their primary line that believe the war is wrong? Just curious.

Just for me, please? Buck up. The country is almost back in our hands. Not another negative word until Nov. 3rd! Then you can bitch all you want about how you wish Kerry was still that long-haired kid who once had the courage to stand up for something. Personally, I think that kid is still inside him. Instead of the wailing and gnashing of your teeth, why not hold out a hand to him and help the inner soldier/protester come out and defeat the forces of evil we now so desperately face. Do we have any other choice?

Sadly, Mike, we do. And people like you push me towards it every time you open your narrow minded, ideological, polarizing, intolerant, cognitively dissonant mouth.

1 Comments:

  • I think that your last comment is very telling because a lot of people react this way. I even feel a little bit of an internal twang to vote for Dubya now and then when I hear stuff like this (pun completely intended). The value of spite is often overlooked by campaigns. While I don't really want to see Bush win (or Kerry win) I do want to see Michael Moore miserable. Since this would occur if Bush won the election, it makes me lean right.

    I think that two aspects of human nature are at issue with regard to this phenomenon. The first is simple revenge. People do not like being talked down to. Michael Moore is polarizing. He's cocky, pushy, and a fundamentalist. People in general react poorly to this, and being exposed to this kind of fire and brimstone liberalism causes an instinctual repulsion, as fire and brimstone sermons in general tend to cause an instinctual repulsion.

    The second aspect is logic. Clearly you (I'm playing the percentages with the generic "you") are smarter than Michael Moore. Logically, whatever he says is more likely to be wrong than statements made by the average person.

    So he lacks credibility and style. If you are arguing a point you do NOT want the Michael Moore's of the world on your side.

    He sort of reminds me of Alan Keyes.

    Heh.

    By Blogger PaulNoonan, at 11:08 AM  

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