The Electric Commentary

Friday, October 22, 2004

Endorsement

I, like my brother, have had a very difficult time choosing a candidate to support in the upcoming presidential election. I too view this election as a choice between two unqualified idiots. For the last few months I have been trying to weigh the pros and cons of the two candidates. There is no reasonable, fiscal conservative, pro-science, secular candidate on the ticket. Of course I realize that this would be asking for waayyy too much. The sad part is that both of these guys are just about the exact opposite of what I'm looking for.

I could start going down my list of important issues and make my choice based on the 637th most important issue to me but I have found a much more practical way to choose my candidate.

I will be voting for John Kerry. However, I do not endorse him as a candidate. Last week Thursday I was in a bar with several friends and, this being Madison, most of them were in the Kerry camp. We began to talk about politics. I was complaining about how fed up I was with the election and how I couldn't stand either candidate enough to pull the lever in their favor. My friend Jason had the perfect solution. I would "trade" my vote to Jason for two beers.

Before that Thursday night, a vote for Bush could get me four more years of religious rhetoric and boneheaded statements in support of retarded policies. A vote for Kerry could get me four years of hippie, commie, nanny-state rhetoric and boneheaded statements in support of retarded policies. Now, however, a vote for Kerry would get me four years of hippie, commmie, nanny-state rhetoric and boneheaded statements in support of retarded policies and two beers. The choice became obvious. For this reason, I endorse trading your vote in the 2004 presidential election for two beers.

Read Ryan's Endorsement
Read Paul's Endorsement

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