The Electric Commentary

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

After you've finished The Intensity Newsletter

Check out the new TMQ. And before I get a bunch of phone calls from relatives and friends asking if I've moved to NY, this guy is not me:

Paul Noonan of New York City wants legislation forbidding NFL zebras from saying "prior to the snap, false start," since false start can only occur prior to the snap. W. M. Whitaker of Level Green, Pa., suggests "eliminating the electoral college and the popular vote and simply letting Redskins games decide all presidential elections." Aaron Still of the United States Naval Academy wants legislation guaranteeing that every American city sees NFL games at least as good as the ones shown that week in Iran -- this Sunday, Iran saw Colts at Chiefs and Panthers at Seahawks.

For the record, I believe that Mr. Noonan's suggestion would be unconstitutional under the 1st Amendment. You have a right in this country to say stupid things.

Here are some highlights:

Meanwhile the Republic National Committee hired a Brett Favre look-alike to wander through the Pentagon, sticking his head into meetings and saying, "I would have found the explosives." This double was supposed to get arrested too, but instead, Pentagon workers mistook him for the real Favre and asked for autographs.


Dwayne-Rudd-Class Play of the Week
Houston leading Jax 7-0, Jabar Gaffney of the Moo Cows took the ball on the end-around, turned upfield and had an unobstructed path to the end zone. Gaffney started to wave the ball around before getting to paydirt; he lost control at the Jacksonville 1 and the ball rolled out of the end zone, touchback Jax. To top it off, Gaffney jumped up into the crowd to celebrate as officials were busily overturning his touchdown.


Before Road Games, Coaches Should Explain to Cardinals Players That Those Strange Objects Up in the Stands Are Spectators
Arizona has lost 17 consecutive away games. Must be the disoriented feeling of playing in front of a crowd! Sign of Cardinals' road stupefaction -- Neil Rackers of Arizona attempted a 64-yard field goal in strong swirling winds at Ralph Wilson Stadium. The kick failed to reach the end zone.

Good old Neil Rackers. I love that guy.


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