The Electric Commentary

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Illinois Governor to crack down on auto theft.

Wait a minute, he's not cracking down on auto theft. He's cracking down on Grand Theft Auto!

I would like to offer my support to the governor, as GTA is clearly aimed at children. Children are very nostalgic for the grunge/rap dominated early 90s, just like they went crazy for the previous version, GTA Vice City based on their love of Miami Vice and 80s pop. 10-year-olds love that stuff. (I blame Hal Sparks. Let's ban him too.)

Moreover, it's worthwhile to focus on this because real auto theft is barely even a problem in Chicago. Of all the people I know in the city, only two have had their cars stolen since I've lived here.

I just hope the governor doesn't overlook the Mario based games, as the plucky plumber has been a negative influence in the drug war for over 15 years. Mushroom use has skyrocketed in that time, and the correlation is too strong to deny. And don't even get me started on Pac-Man.

Power Pellets? Come on.

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