The Electric Commentary

Friday, May 27, 2005

Paul's Brat Recipe

Since you're all presumably grilling out at least once this weekend, I thought that I would pass along my recipe for brats. If you follow this recipe it will increase brat tastiness by at least 300%.

First, buy some brats. Make sure that they are not pre-cooked, as pre-cooked brats will have the same flavor cooked as they do right out of the bag, and therefore subjecting them to a recipe is silly.

Get a nice medium heat going on the grill and cook them until cooked through. Do not let the heat get too high, as this will result in the outside becoming charred and the inside staying raw. This will make people sick and ruin your weekend. If that is going to happen, beer should be responsible, not sausage.

While you're doing that, step into your kitchen and get out a large pot. Poor in some beer. You need to use enough so that the brats will be completely submerged when they are placed in the pot. Many cookbooks will tell you to use dark beer for this process, but they are filthy liars attempting to convince you to waste dark beer. Yellowish American domestic beer will do just fine. Try to find something that conforms to the Reinheitsgebot. The important thing is that it needs to taste like beer.

Add to the beer:

A. 3 cloves of garlic,
B. 1/2 an onion, diced,
C. 1/4 stick of butter,
D. Optional: 1 cup of sauerkraut. I prefer this on the side.

Bring contents to just below boiling temperature (a par-boil). Take fully cooked brats and submerge them in the pot for 8 minutes.

Serve on a bun or roll with kraut, ketchup, mustard, onions, and if you can get it, Secret Stadium Sauce.

There are many recipes for par-boiling brats that have you boil them before grilling. Do not believe them. Follow my recipe and you will end up with the most delicious brats in history, happy friends, and a kitchen that smells like a dive bar at 3 a.m. on a Saturday morning.

That reminds me. Pick up a Lysol aerosol spray can too. And some candles. And maybe some Febreze. But trust me, the smell is a small price to pay for a successful barbecue.

Have a good weekend.

Update: My brother, in the comments section, makes an excellent point:

I par-boil them after grilling too, but what is this kitchen shit? Take a metal casserol pan, it has to be a pretty deep one, and put it right on your grill. It works better at ball-games and won't stink up your kitchen.

I do agree with not using dark beer though. Miller High Life works great for grilling.

6 Comments:

  • I par-boil them after grilling too, but what is this kitchen shit? Take a metal casserol pan, it has to be a pretty deep one, and put it right on your grill. It works better at ball-games and won't stink up your kitchen.

    I do agree with not using dark beer though. Miller High Life works great for grilling.

    By Blogger DannyNoonan, at 1:42 PM  

  • There is NOTHING better than the smell of brats boiling in "yellowish" Wisconsin beer. But I boil mine first, then grill them.

    By Blogger Moral Turpitude, at 6:06 PM  

  • I have learned a couple of tricks to making good brats. For a mass party, nothing works better than a cajun cooker(aka turkey cooker) for boiling a mass of brats.

    Also, for a base this is about the only thing Milwaukee's Best is good for. Add a 12 pack of that with 1 bottle of dark beer for flavor and you should be good to go.

    Also, I boil my brats first and then grill them to make the outside crispy.

    Some of the most delicious brats that I made have been boiled, grilled, and then soaked in the broth. If you haven't been to a good Wisconsin tailgate, then you are really missing something.

    By Anonymous Rod, at 1:50 AM  

  • Several ways to cook brats are discussed at my site here.

    To parboil first or not has been and always will be subject to impassioned debate.

    By Blogger Jim, at 4:35 PM  

  • I like Old Milwaukee, NOT Old Milwaukee Best. It tastes like beer and it is cheap!

    By Anonymous hollis, at 9:40 PM  

  • I should try this one.
    I Buy Barbeques

    By Blogger Justin, at 8:03 AM  

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