The Electric Commentary

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

The NFL offseason in 30 seconds.

Just so everyone knows where everyone is in time for their fantasy drafts,

Ready? Go!

Randy Moss was involved in the biggest trade of the year moving from the Vikings to the Raiders in exchange for LB Napoleon "Dynamite" Harris. It's too bad that Randy sucks on grass because almost all of his games are on grass this year.

Harris will be joining an improved and revamped Viking defense that acquired Fred Smoot from the Redskins and Darren Sharper from the Packers. Smoot leaves a Redskin squad that still looks formidable on defense, but that did little to address their offensive woes. Their QBs are still terrible. They traded their best WR, Lavranues Coles, to the Jets for Santana Moss and lost Rod Garner to the Panthers.

The Panthers also stole Mike Wahle from the Packers, who just hemorrhaged players in the offseason. They also saw Marco Rivera depart for the Cowboys where he will protect Drew Bledsoe, late of the Bills, who will be replaced by second year man J.P. Losman who won't be handing off to Travis Henry.

That's because Travis left for the Tennessee Titans where he'll split time with the frequently injured Chris Brown. He'll probably end up hurt again as the Titans saw tackle Fred Miller take off for the Bears, and Steve McNair and Billy Volek may have a tough time finding open men as Derrick Mason left for Baltimore. He will attempt to make Kyle Boller actually look good as he replaces Travis Taylor who headed west for the Vikings.

It's possible that he'll be catching a few passes from new Minnesota backup QB Brad Johnson who was run out of Tampa Bay in favor of either Brian Greise or Chris Simms. They'll be throwing to the terrible Ike Hilliard who will be replaced on the Giants by Plaxico Burress, late of the Steelers. The Steelers grabbed Cedrick Wilson from the Niners, who grabbed Johnnie Morton from the Chiefs, who grabbed Sammy Knight and Patrick Surtain from the Dolphins, who picked up Vonnie Holliday from the Chiefs, and Tebucky Jones from the Saints. The Saints signed Az Hakim from the Lions, who signed Marcus Pollard from the Colts, (who still employ Jim Sorgi for some reason,) and Jeff Garcia from the Browns.

The Browns just lost the underrated Andre Davis (not to be confused with Andra Davis, of course) to the Patriots, who accidentally (I assume) acquired David Terrell from the Bears, who stole Mushin Muhammad from the Panthers, and Doug Brien, who missed two important kicks last year but is still better than Paul Edinger, from the Jets.

The Jets lost the excellent Lamont Jordan to the Raiders.

Where Randy Moss now sucks on grass once in a blue moon.

Edinger? He ended up with the Vikings. The former home of Randy Moss, and current home of Napoleon "Dynamite" Harris...

Isn't it nice when everything comes together?


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    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:41 AM  

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    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:45 AM  

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    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:48 AM  

  • So who are you picking to win the Super Bowl?

    By Blogger MDS, at 1:53 PM  

  • The fact that a Northwestern University LB got traded for Randy Moss is a bigger story than the trade itself. Go Cats.

    And MDS, to answer your question, the Jets.

    By Blogger Ace Cowboy, at 2:13 PM  

  • I need a few more days for that. I'm leaning Carolina in the NFC, and I'd prefer not to be boring and pick the Pats in the AFC (though I will if I think it will happen), so I have to see a bit more first.

    That will be its own post soon.

    By Blogger PaulNoonan, at 2:13 PM  

  • Did they rescind that rule that all players named Napoleon have to play for the Raiders in order for that trade to go through?

    By Blogger John Howard, at 4:05 PM  

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