The Electric Commentary

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

In the mind of...

Daunte Culpepper - Well, I tore everything. What am I going to do with my free time? Well, you know, rehab, work out, and me and Latrell Sprewell are going to cruise the seas together for an MTV reality show.

Ron Dayne - They say that backup QB is a great job, but 3rd string Bronco RB is pretty good too. I don't get all banged up, even I'd look impressive if I ever did get behind that line, and I do anything I want, be it eating onion dip for a meal, or smoking up. Ricky Williams searched the whole world, and what he was really looking for was the Denver Broncos.

Jake Plummer - I moved to the country, grew a beard, married a she-bear, and I been here ever since.

Najeh Davenport - I've been behind Ahman for so long and we compete at everything. He got a little hurt, so I had to one-up him by getting hurt as bad as I did, but he's topped me yet again.

Brett Favre
- Hello (hello, hello, hello)? Is there anyone still here (here, here, here)?

Jeff Garcia - It wasn't my fault! It was the Bears, and I had bad receivers and a sub-par running game! It was all of their faults! And it was TO's fault too.

Thomas Jones - I win! I'm the best Jones in the league!

Kevin Jones - I don't know what happened, but this is getting old. And painful. I think it's Millen's fault, but then again, that's why I'm here. Sort of a paradox, really. One thing I know. This line is horrible. Maybe there's still room on Daunte's boat.

Jamal Lewis - Prison changes a man. It makes him harder in a way, but in another more accurate way, it makes him fatter and slower.

Randy Moss
- I can't believe they waited until I was gone to have that boat party. That's just inexcusable. Next time we play I'm going to catch so many touchdowns and get so many hookers they're not going to know what hit them. It's the new Randy Ratio.

Mike Tice
- Maybe I should get some reading glasses like Sylvester Stallone did. They made him look smarter. I think that worked pretty well. Ah, who am I kidding, I can't read.

Terry Glenn - This is just like old times. Which I suppose means that we'll get beaten in the Super Bowl because our coach is entertaining other offers from other teams, and coach will end up somewhere else next year, and that I'll be consistently hurt from that point on and he'll call me a woman again. Actually, the old times may be a bit overrated.

Keyshawn Johnson - It took nine years, but I'm finally better than Wayne Chrebet.

Michael Irvin - These guys are such amateurs. I should just unretire and show them what's what. Except I hear they're enforcing those contact rules now. And really, that was my whole game. Maybe I'll stay in the booth...

Taco Wallace - Not even I'm sure who I am.

Chad Johnson - Let's not focus on last week, let's focus on this week. I don't recall saying anything about any Al Harris, whoever that is.

And finally, a reporter talking to Napoleon Harris: Napoleon, would you describe your play this week as "flippin sweet?"


  • Don't be knockin' Napo...ever see clips of that guy making tackles in college? He'll rip your head right off.

    By Blogger Ace Cowboy, at 3:39 PM  

  • I have, which is why it's so strange that h'es declined so much. He was such a monster, but he gets pushed around alot (and he's out of position frequently) in the NFL. It might just be the Viking effect.

    By Blogger PaulNoonan, at 4:14 PM  

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