The Electric Commentary

Thursday, December 29, 2005

The Evil Internet Jukebox

In general I'm in favor of anything that expands the choices available to consumers, however, I must make an exception for these newfangled internet jukeboxes. I hate them.

In my day we had old-fashioned CD-based jukeboxes that allowed the owner of the local watering hole to select music that fit the establishment. These days I can't walk into a biker bar without hearing Jessica Simpson's latest auditory assault on mankind, consarnit.

And then to add insult to injury, these jukeboxes have an option that allows you to pay a little extra to move your excellent choice ahead of the selections of the goober in front of you who just had to hear the Thong Song one more time. This is pure genius, but it is also pure evil. The manufacturers of this device have come up with a system in which many people will pay a small amount to hear terrible music, and snobs like me will pay more to not hear the horrible choices of others. (Tim Harford would be proud.)

Jukeboxes are interesting because the products being sold necessarily have secondary benefits and costs. I'm actually kind of shocked that it took jukebox companies this long to put in a mechanism that plays customers off of each other for profit.

I suppose I really can't complain that a bunch of people who previously had no good options on the jukebox now have a wide variety of sucky choices. After all, they've had to listen to the limited selections of music snobs and bartenders forever, but just because it's good for society in general doesn't mean that I have to like it.

Dagnabit.

7 Comments:

  • Brilliant. There is no cure for the wide variety of music tastes, (although ClearChannel has certainly tried) so why not make money off of it.

    Of course, I disfavor the presence of jukeboxes in general. If you want to hear music at a bar you shouldn't go to one that has a jukebox.

    By Anonymous Scott H, at 12:49 PM  

  • When I lived in Austin, I hung out at a dueling piano bar where a collection hat was often passed around the crowd after someone requested the fight song of a rival school (usually A&M or Nebraska) to raise enough $ to get them to start playing the UT fight song instead. Generally, $20-25 would be enough to win the battle of the fight songs. As a consequence of this, I know most of the words to the UT, A&M, and Nebraska fight songs despite having never attended any of these schools.

    By Blogger dhodge, at 1:14 PM  

  • Oh man that sucks, there are places where we hang out just because of the jukebox.

    If you ever come to Atlanta, be sure to hit up 97 Estoria. One of the best jukeboxes on Earth.

    By Anonymous Rashid Muhammad, at 2:16 AM  

  • Nothing disturbs the corner tap like some dimwit playing a Britney Spears song for his girlfriend. The best bars not only have strict control over the content of the jukebox, but they also give the bartender a remote cut-off switch to kill any offensive song before they get going.

    yes, it's snobbish, elitist, what have you. But you're in that bar for a reason.

    By Blogger James Wigderson, at 10:22 AM  

  • FIRST OF ALL ,IF YOU HEARD JESSICA SIMPSON AT A BIKER BAR,IT PROBABLY WASNT A BIKER BAR.SECOND I HAVE NOT HEARD A JESSICA SIMPSON SONG AT ANY BAR.THIRD,YOUR FIRST SENTENCE IS BULL BECOUSE THE REST OF YOUR OPINION GOES AGAINST THAT SENTENCE.THE INTERNET JUKEBOX IS AWESOME,

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:37 AM  

  • I was looking for some Euro songs on one of those internet jukeboxes, and I found an amazing selection of very obscure material thant I'm sure no one else would choose. But a minute later, when I decided which ones I would play, they were all gone! They didn't come up again! Italian singer MINA had 100 songs one minute, the next she was completely erased.Wha happen?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:23 PM  

  • Finally a jukebox where you keep ALL the revenue - No split! - Barjukebox.com
    internet juke box

    By Blogger Sakib, at 9:19 AM  

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