The Electric Commentary

Monday, April 03, 2006

Extremely Random Baseball Predictions

1. Brewers: 90-72

2. Prince Fielder will not win Rookie of the Year. That will go to some player in a red uniform.

3. Prince Fielder will hit precisely 27 HR.

4. The Cubs will finish no better than 4th in the NL Central. The White Sox will finish behind the Indians in the AL Central, and behind the A's in the wild card, and miss the playoffs completely.

5. Jim Thome will break down. Bobby Jenks will implode, perhaps literally.

6. Ben Sheets will miss significant time.

7. The Cardinals pitching staff will suffer one bad injury and fold like a house of cards. They will still hold off the Brewers, but just barely.

8. The Phillies will win the East. The Braves finally fail.

9. The Dodgers will win the west. Barry Bonds will be intentionally walked, but most pitchers will just throw at his head.

10. The F*ckin' Yankees will win the East. Boston will not finish second.

11. The Angels will win the West.

12. AL MVP? Travis Hafner.

13. NL MVP? Albert Poo-Holes, of course.

14. Major injuries? I predict that Thome, Jim Edmonds, Ensberg, C.C. Sabathia, the Morneau/Mauer combo, Gary Sheffield, most of the Mets and Dodgers, and Tejada will see some major time off this year.

15. Breakout? Wily Mo, of course.

16. The Steroid Investigation will show that a bunch of guys did steroids. And nothing will happen to anyone

17. The Royals management will all be savagely gunned down by a disgruntled Zack Greinke.

18. It will be 42 degrees tomorrow, with an 80% chance of rain, as I tailgate before opening day in Milwaukee.

19. Doug Davis will get the win over Oliver Perez, D-Bow picks up the save. Prince and Carlos Lee hit dingers.

20. Win - Polish
Place - Hot Dog
Show - Italian

2 Comments:

  • "Prince and Carlos Lee hit dingers."

    Close. Hardy and Lee both hit dingers. Of course, the game isn't over yet and Prince might get another shot.

    By Blogger DannyNoonan, at 4:05 PM  

  • i'm jealous that you were at this game. perez was missing bats like a champ.

    unfortunately, prince had a golden sombrero + 1.

    By Blogger ethan, at 4:16 PM  

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