The Electric Commentary

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Weekend Recap

It's not that my weekend was that interesting, it's just that it lends it self well to an outline-style summary.

1. My team won a beach volleyball match on Chicago's North Ave. Beach, 3-0. Much revelry followed.

2. Went camping at a friends plot of land near the Wisconsin Dells.

3. Drove to said space via I-94 through Milwaukee as opposed to I-90 through Madison on the theory that toll construction on I-90 would slow things way down (there are also 5 tolls on 90 as opposed to only 2 on 94).

3a. Ate lunch at Hot Doug's. It was exquisite.

4. We got to see the this crazy guy's freeway sign, the Mars' Cheese Castle, and of course, this sign.

5. Once camp was set, we drank beer and played this delightful game, whose name shall not be mentioned here. Alas, my team was soundly defeated.

6. We then played some random, equally intoxicated folks at beach volleyball. We were soundly defeated, which actually says more about our drinking skill than our volleyball skills.

It is at this point that our story takes a turn for the worse.

7. I found ticks (note the plural) on me. Some leg hair was lost in the tick-removal process. Fortunately, they were wood ticks and not deer ticks, although deer ticks are tiny and I may not have found them yet.

8. It rained. A lot. For a long period of time.

9. I burned my finger on boiling tree sap. As it was raining, we kept a few logs close to the fire in an attempt to keep them dry/ready to burn, and while this worked, it also resulted in me grabbing a log that was a little too close to the fire, and briefly becoming fused with it.

10. It rained all night.

11. I'm told that I snored. I am not told this solely by people who were in my tent.

12. Upon packing up the gear in the morning, it is discovered that one of our brethren has locked his keys in his car "in his bag." Triple A is called. The locksmith attempts to use the following implements to open the car:

a. What appears to be a door jam.

b. What appears to be a giant paperclip.

At this point, the locksmith was heard to utter the following, somewhat disconcerting phrase:

Hmmm. Interesting.

He then retrieved the following tools from his truck.

a. Two more door jams,

b. An inflatable air bladder. It resembled the device that you use to take your blood pressure.

c. A long, straight wire.

This did the trick, however, it set off the car's alarm system, which would not have been a problem had the keys actually been in the car. The observant among you had, I'm sure, already deduced that they were not actually in the car. A mad scramble ensues among the beeping, and it is (thankfully) quickly discovered that the keys are actually rolled up in a tent. The beeping stops. All is right with the world.

13. We drive home. Upon entering my neighborhood, our progress is impeded by a gaggle of homosexuals. We do, eventually, manage to get back to my apartment. I have a long history of getting screwed by parades, and I get almost no enjoyment out of watching parades, so I find this especially annoying. When I lived on the south side it was always this parade. If you are on the south side and this parade is taking place, you are staying on the south side until it is over. Escape is impossible. Resistance is futile. Now I have the gay pride parade. Oh well.

14. I realize that, despite all of that, the good outweighed the bad, and it was worth it.


  • Don't forget the enormous baked goods at the Pine Cone, which we were successful in resisting (twice). Or the awesome grilling implement we found in the woods chained up to the lawn mower. Hope your hand is better today. That was one wicked burn.

    By Anonymous Nicole, at 9:59 AM  

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