The Electric Commentary

Monday, November 27, 2006

PackerBlogging

00:00, END. Fun Tatupu Fact: On the Simpsons halloween episode "King Homer" the island natives' language is just the name of former NFL player Mosie Tatupu repeated over and over. Mosie is the father of current Seahawk LB Lofa Tatupu.

Alright, I'm heading to bed. Thanks for tuning in to the EC Packer LiveBlogCastQuickUpdateThingy. We'll do it again soon, hopefully with better results. In the meantime, I look forward to Wisconsin destroying some poor SEC team in the Capitol One Bowl.

Heh. I'll bet someone lost a fantasy game on that Favre fumble.

(And don't forget to pick up your copy of Dare to Dream, written and Directed by David Orgas, starring fantasy league member Bryan Madson, now on DVD.

2:00, Q4. Mitch channels the Cowboy:

(After the pick at about 6:00 ...) In an ode Ace, I'll go there ... the last time Favre completed a pass like that was the last time he lost a family member. Yeah, it's wrong, but I've been reading too much slack lately.


Brett's out there agains for one last pick...er, drive. And it's the two minute warning. I need another beer, or four. They really blew this game, and it was a real team effort. When he entire team plays this badly, it's time to look at the coach.

BTW, Shaun is still washed up, despite his 200 yard performance. Moving the ball on the Pack proves nothing, and even Joe Theisman makes a smart comment once in a while.

3:00 or so, Q4. As there is nothing positive to report, I'd like to point out that the commenters just made a pretty funny Quantum Leap joke. And it didn't even involve Ziggy.

Hey, a Greg Jenning sighting! I love Greg, but the knock on him is that he can get lazy on his routes, acommon complaint of deep threats.

While I'm on the subject of wideouts, what's with the Saints? Every guy on the team looks like an All-Pro! Copper? Henderson? Who are these guys?

And we have full Brett Thermo-nuclear meltdown. Stick a fork in this one, it's over. Let's see what else is on.

Over on The Colbert Report, Target is recalling some toys. Ah, Basic Instinct is on American Movie Classics. That makes sense. OK, back to ESPN to see if it's improved...

4:35, Q4. The Packers desperately need a TD here to get close and to rest the defense. By the way, I think that there is basically no chance of that happening.

And....Brett gets picked off. That should just about do it.

Except for the turnovers they have played terribly tonight, no better than against the Patriots. It's not like Seattle has been a juggernaut this year, but they've had their way with the Pack.

Oh, and Shaun Alexander, if I heard correctly, just broke his career high in carries. Good idea for a guy just back from injury.

We're now under 5:00. Time, she is a wastin'.

6:13, Q4. Let's just go to the comments, shall we:

Scott K (Not Scott H):

That's one of the worst roughing the passer calls I have ever seen. If there is one problem with the NFL it's there obsession with protecting the quarterback...you can't hit them high or low...they might as well just incorporate the halo rule for the quarterback. What a crock...


Followed by Mitch:

Oh come on ... the worst rule in professional sports is the NBA rule preventing players from bringing their guns to the arena.


True dat, double true!

The fellas are doing good work down there.

Can someone please knee Jerramy Stevens in the junk again.

8:44, Q4. The defense has been terrible except for the takeaways. Meanwhile, Scott H chimes in:

Oh fuck the refs already. Some pansy ass delay of game penalty. Some confusing ass holding penalty. Then this hitting the QB at all during a pass call. Fuck the refs. Seriously. Corn cob sodomies for them all.


I couldn't agree more, a good ol' fashioned Nebraska Prom Night for all of them.

The refs really are having an awful game, but the Packers haven't put much together for some time now. The defense has to make a stop at some point, this is getting ridiculous.

As I write this Seattle is challenging the spot and losing. Will they go? I would. Mack Strong up the middle again, especially now that the ground is in better shape.

Or Shaun outside. Yuck. Only another turnover can save the Pack now.


9:08, Q4. Cullen Jenkins was just victimized by a terrible call that may cost the Pack dearly. For once Theisman is right. Hey, sun shines on a dog's ass every now and then.

On the replay it looks even worse. I mean, that's just awful. That's 3 games this week that have been effected by QB wussiness.

At least they killed Jerramy Stevens again.

10:11, Q4. Hi, I'm O.J. Simpson, otherwise known as "The Juice." And folks, the Juice is loose, and he's coming after you! My recent book, "If I did it" was pulled by publishers, but this was only a temporary setback and soon I will be selling books and doind some much needed improvements on my tax shelt...home.

In addition to my new book, "If I Did It," you can now enjoy an entire series of books from your favorite newschannel personalitiess. There's Gary Condit's "If I tied her up, put her in the trunk, and drove the 94 Civic onto a boat to Hong Kong never to be seen again." Next you'll receive Ted Kennedy's "If I left that woman to die." And of course, everyone's favorite new work, "If I Did Him" by Mark Foley.

Future presidential nominee Hilary Clinton also pitches in with the new fiction-financial book, "If I Had Insider Info on Cattle Futures," and the thriller "If I Murdered Vernon Jordan."

And of course, you wouldn't want to miss Kobe Bryant's "What we would have done that night, aw yeah."

All of these, as well as my book, can be yours for one low price of $99.99. Why spend all of that cash on E-Bay when a cornucopia of celebrities and politicians can entertain you with these completely fictional works of literary genius.

Just send check or money order, along with your address, marital status, and work hours to The Juice, P.O. Box 412, Kissimee FL.

You won't regret it.

Especially if you get away with it.

14:11, Q4. Have I mentioned that I hate Shaun Alexander? This dates back to an old fantasy grudge in which Shaun posted good superficial numbers, but in reality played terribly with the exception of 2 games in which he score 8 total TDs. I did win those two weeks, but I lost a lot more than I won.

And just like that the lead is gone. D-JAx gets his tippy-toes in and the Hawks will go for two.

And convert.

Does the offense have anything left in the tank? Can they mount a drive in response?

Stay tuned, for the thrilling conclusion, after this word from OJ Simpson.

1:18, Q3. In honor of Steve Young's visit, here's a picture of Mormon underwear. It's weird.

Meanwhile, Seattle forces another punt and suddenly the lead is in all sorts of Jeopardy. Celebrity Jeopardy, Rock'n'roll Jeopardy, etc.

The Packer passing game has really been stymied except for the Driver play. One major shft in the Packer passing game is the real lack of a pass-catching RB. Herron comes in to catch passes on third, but you rarely see anything on first or second down. The lack of a pass-catching TE leaves a big hole in the Packer passing game despite the above-average WRs.

The defense is now exhausted and the washed up Shaun Alexander is running all over them. It's only a matter of time before Seattle grabs the lead at this rate. Remember that even in the first half the Seahawks were moving at will. Only turnovers stopped them. The defense needs to adjust and take something away, and they need to do it RIGHT NOW.

6:15, Q3. Shaun has 126 yards? Really? Wow.

Here comes a bogus pass-interference penalty. Oh, it's just holding.

Alert! Mormon in the booth! Oh, it's just Steve Young. He's a direct descendant of Brigham Young. Then again, so is almost every Mormon, as Young had about 1700 wives. Brigham, not Steve. Steve only has 12.

DJ Tanner pulls in a TD pass and Uncle Joey is not happy about it. Josh adds his 13th point and suddenly it's a 2-point affair. Whoa Nelly.

8:27, Q3. The ever-vigilant Mitch informs us that Matt is up to a solid -7 due to his yardage. Man, his receivers aren't just high, they're wasted. Except DJ Hackett. Didn't Candace Cameron play him on Full House?

Shaun Alexander makes an appearance now that the snow has let up, and converts a first down. The field is improving and turnovers will now be rarer. That's good, it plays into the hands of the leading team. And that's us.

10:32, Q3. So what team is actually a contender in the NFC? The Bears are actually pretty good just based on defense, but they've looked mortal on several occasions. Seattle, even if they do come back to win this game, is just the best team in a bad conference.

Everyone is really geared up about the Cowboys since the Romo change, but I don't averreact to a few games. They look ok, but they still have a lackluster o-line, and that's not good. I would take a strong front four over the Cowboys, even a mediocre team like Carolina. The Saints? They can't play defense. Nice story, good/great QB (I really like Drew Brees), but that's not enough.

(Ouch. Tough hit on Jerramy Stevens, bringing down boos. Tough year for that guy. He gets booed for every drop and he got kneed in the junk earlier this year. I know he's a jerk and all, but jeez.)

(Also, shouldn't Mel Gibson and Michael Richards star in a movie together where play two mismatched cops who drive around solving hate-crimes? It might not help out their images, but I bet it would make a ton of cash.)

I don't know who to like in the NFC. Bears By Default, I suppose, but this conference is open to any team that gets hot.

15:00, Q3. We're back. Greg Jenning did a nice job shaking tacklers and picks up a first down. I like Jenning a lot, and I don't think he's fully recovered from his ankle injury yet. And THERE GOES DONALD DRIVER FOR THE TOUCHDOWN!

I love that crossing route. They run it every game, usually for over 20 yards. Driver may be the best crossing route runner in the NFL.

00:00, Halftime. Mitch would like to correct himself. Matt's actually a solid -12. The anti-Josh Brown.

The Pack will take a knee and head in for some coco. Not a terrible first half because they're up, but it certainly should be a lot better. When you waste opportunities like the Pack did, you can't feel too good about your chances. Let's hope the Packer offense adjusts, because I'll bet the Seahawks do.

Time for a halftime Pit-Stop/Refill. Back in 5.

:23, Q2. I love that they showed the "We'll take the ball" clip and they're praising him for it. How idiotic.

This is like the old Seahawks the way they're dropping balls. Maybe Koren is making extra cash during his suspension by passing out the wacky weed to his old teammates. And on cue Nate Burleson drops a sure touchdown.

Josh hits a chippy for a first half 12-spot. He's my kicker in FF, BTW.

1:23, Q2. Mitch points out (in the comments) that Matt currently rates a -9 points in Fantasy Football. Although it looks like he's about to improve a bit. Stupid Marquan Manuel.

1:44, Q2. A few NFL observations. Baltimore's offense is getting wayyy to much credit. McNair hasn't been very good, and Lewis hasn't been very good. They've been lucky and the defense is still first rate, but they're the anti-Colts.

As for the Colts, they can't play D. So they beat a McNabb-less Eagle team. So what? Clearly, San Diego is the best team in the AFC. They play in a tougher division than Indy and they have the total package.

And don't get me started on the Bears. Paper tigers. Everyone realizes that Rex Grossman throws a lousy middle-range pass, and they're taking away deep routes. Bernard Berrien was only effective because of a penalty. They will have a tough time down the stretch, although they'll look fine against the Vikings next week. The Vikings suck.

Just for fun, here's a list of overrated QBs:

Vick.
Eli Manning.
Jake Delhomme.
Steve McNair (formerly underrated)

Whooohooo!

See, that's why liveblogging is fun. You can be in the middle of a thought and some guy named Hodge from Iowa who you have never heard of before, but who I already like better than Nick Barnett, picks off Matt and takes it to...the...Hooouuuussseee!

By the way, I'm on my third beer, and I'm down to Miller Lite, not that there's anything wrong with Miller Lite, of course, it's just that I had Guinness and Pilsner Urquell. But hey, beer is beer.

3:34, Q2. Doesn't it seem like Seattle has had the ball forever? Even though we have 3 TOs to their 1? What gives? This doesn not bode well for the rest of the game, in fact, all sorts of bad omens are popping up. Wasted turnovers, Jimmy Kimmel, etc.

Josh Brown will try yet another FG in the snow. He can't make 3 in a row, can he? Perfect again.

This is a good time to mention that the Idiot Kicker just got cut in favor of Martin Grammatica. How the mighty have fallen.

8:30, Q2. While Seattle is driving after Green Bay squandered a TO and great field position, let me recommend a great Christmas present for any Nascar fan, or just a fan of good cinema. I can also make up for not visiting a friend when I was in Milwaukee last weekend.

The guy who runs my most complicated fantasy football league made a movie. Not a documentary, an honest-to-god movie. His name is David Orgas and it's called Dare to Dream: The Alan Kulwicki Story. It's a great story and David gives it the treatment it deserves. After a fairly wide release in the south and in Wisconsin (in other words, in Nascar country) it is now available on DVD. You can purchase the flick right here.

Meanwhile, Josh Brown kicks another figgie to make it 7-6.

Oh, and Jimmie Kimmel is in the booth. Yeh.

12:31, Q2. Chuck Woodson takes it right back, and Ahman puts them in great shape. What do you call on third and goal? I like rollouts with a trailer on the front and back of the endzone, stationary target in the middle. It gives you a ton of options, and it's unlikely that you'll take a bad sack. Straight passes limit your options to the outsides (maybe the center back with a big target) and runs, while nice from the 3 yard line in, are going to be tough in the snow.

What's with the broom guy sweeping snow? They couldn't get him a shovel?

What kind of a crappy call was that? You take a shot there. A FG is no sure thing here.

What did I just say?



15:00, Q2. The NFL rule against breathing too hard on QBs cost two teams yesterday. Everyone saw Vince Young escape a Giant defender who thought that the play was over on a fourth down that would have ended the game. Instead Young escaped and scampered 19 yards for a first down. The Giant's lack of finish was probably the result of a questionable call earlier in the game that Gave Young and the Titans a first down on a fourth down play.

Brian Urlacher was also victimized by Tom Brady who fakes a slide and juked the all-pro out of his jock. I pity the next QB who tries that on Mr. Urlacher.

Back on TV Brett throws an ill-advised pick to Kelly Hearndon. Brett was relying far too much on Daniel Franks' athletic ability. Bubba is good when he's standing still and can use his body. On the run he's a huge liability, especially that far down the field where DBs have more time to react.


3:35, Q1. I think that we should start pronouncing the Heisman Trophy as the "He's-man trophy. Just to see if we can get Joe to change his name back.

Nice kick by Josh Brown. I didn't think anyone would try a kick that long in this weather. I hate Capital 1 commercials.

Nice touch, ESPN playing Pearl Jam during a Seattle game.

5:40, Q1. You're watching two washed-up RBs here. Shaun Alexander was overworked last year and you've already witnessed the consequences with the broken foot, but he also won't be as effective. He's looked good so far in the slick weather, but they'll adjust and shut him down. Likewise, Green has looked good this year only because of the new zone blocking scheme. He's good for one cut and a slight power finish. There is no chance that the Pack will resign Green at the end of the year unless he takes a cheap 1-year deal, but that's pretty unlikely.

Green probably still has some value in the right system, but the Packers are moving to a system where RB-by-committee will probably be the order of the day.

As Shaun coughs up the ball, doing his best Ahman Green, I hope that they continue to keep it on the ground. The Packer secondary is vulnerable. D'oh, another first down. That was the same play as Matt's last pick, except that this time he (correctly) checked down.

10:35, Q1. We'll take the ball, and we're gonna score! Matt Hasselbeck to Al Harris, a classic combo if ever there was one. Matt looked sharp on his first pass, but he's probably rusty, and snow is no way to knock off the rust.

15:00, Q1. Snow must be good, right? Great start as Woodson picks off the tipped pass and Ahman takes it in for a touchdown!

We come to you live from my livingroom where my new HDTV does not yet get an HD signal due to a mixup with the cable company. It should be remedied by next Sunday. It's a big improvement though.

This is the Packer season right here. If they drop this one, they're really out of it. Normally they would be out of it already, but the general sadness of the NFC, the Giant choke yesterday, the injury to McNabb, the Bruce Gradkoski era, and Portis injury, the flumoxing Carolina decline, the Seattle problems, the continuing Vick debacle, and an easy schedule have kept them alive.

This game will come down to Favre. Remember, before he got hurt last week he was terrible. I'm betting that the near-injury served as a wake-up call, like when Rocky is fighting Tommy Morrison and he starts halucinating about Burgess Meredith. Of course, we all know that that movie didn't really happen, like the new Rocky movie.

We're off to a good start. 7-0 Pack! Updates will appear at the top or this post, so hit refresh occasionally. All spelling mistakes will be left intact.

14 Comments:

  • How 'bout a whopping -9 for the Hass (note: not the Hoff) in BigO right now?

    By Anonymous mitch, at 8:58 PM  

  • I was wrong. 3 INTs and a lost fumble. -12, currently.

    By Anonymous mitch, at 9:05 PM  

  • Oops, the first call was correct. -9, but he's got 88 yds passing, so he's really only -7 right now. What a night.

    Oh, and btw, "BANG!". Hit on Stevens.

    By Anonymous mitch, at 9:35 PM  

  • "... shouldn't Mel Gibson and Michael Richards star in a movie together where play two mismatched cops who drive around solving hate-crimes?"

    Nice. The Coppers crowd laughed heartily at that one.

    By Anonymous mitch, at 9:43 PM  

  • Damn you got an HD too? That's it, I'm definitelyfinding a job in CHicago. Of course if I get a job I can afford my own HDTV. At least after I pay off $70,000.

    The Packers downfall is the snow stopping. Snow gives them super powers... which this year equates to not sucking quite so much.

    By Blogger Scott H, at 10:21 PM  

  • Oh fuck the refs already. Some pansy ass delay of game penalty. Some confusing ass holding penalty. Then this hitting the QB at all during a pass call. Fuck the refs. Seriously. Corn cob sodomies for them all.

    By Blogger Scott H, at 10:24 PM  

  • Sorry, that penalty was on me. I passed gas, and they mistakenly threw the flag on me. Much like Dwayne Wade in the finals.

    By Anonymous mitch, at 10:26 PM  

  • That's one of the worst roughing the passer calls I have ever seen. If there is one problem with the NFL it's there obsession with protecting the quarterback...you can't hit them high or low...they might as well just incorporate the halo rule for the quarterback. What a crock...

    By Anonymous Scott K., at 10:27 PM  

  • Oh come on ... the worst rule in professional sports is the NBA rule preventing players from bringing their guns to the arena.

    By Anonymous mitch, at 10:30 PM  

  • I should apologize for that last comment, I am a bit inebriated. Only the refs who made the calls involved get the sodomies. To be clear, I'm talking dried out cobs.

    By Blogger Scott H, at 10:30 PM  

  • Too many scotts. Next post, I'm going to call myself scott bakula. Seriously, give yourself props for being inebriated. It's a proper way to deal with this Packer team.

    By Anonymous mitch, at 10:33 PM  

  • Can we quantum leap to 1996?

    By Blogger Scott H, at 10:39 PM  

  • (After the pick at about 6:00 ...) In an ode Ace, I'll go there ... the last time Favre completed a pass like that was the last time he lost a family member. Yeah, it's wrong, but I've been reading too much slack lately.

    By Anonymous mitch, at 10:41 PM  

  • Oh, Snap!

    By Blogger PaulNoonan, at 10:49 PM  

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