The Electric Commentary

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Live-Action Miller Lite Ad

Today I left the house during half time of the Bears/Saints game to grab some snacks and beer at the 7/11 down the street. It's a 3 block walk from my apartment out onto Sheffield and down to the corner. As I turned on to Sheffield a veritable river of people began to trickle out of the apartment complexes and townhouses, all with the same idea. They were also headed to the 7/11, also to purchase beer.

I quickly realized that time was now of the essence. I had a small head start as I don't really care about the Bears and had left a bit early, but the sidewalks in front of me were quickly filling up. If all of these people managed to get there before I did, I would almost certainly not make it back for the start of the second half. So I did what anyone would do in this situation.

I ran.

And you know what? As soon as I started running, about 10 other guys started running. And it spread. This is unfortunate, as I am not fleet of foot. I thought that the social taboo on running for an actual purpose would keep everyone else in line (You know how people look funny when you know that they're running late or about to miss a bus or something, and so they either run or they do a really lame fast walk? Yet the sight of these people running in teeny-tiny running shorts wouldn't even cause you to bat an eye.) but instead I played the bellwether and broke the seal, so to speak.

I arrived too late. The beer fridge contained only 40s and cheap wine, and the snack area had been decimated by underfed, over-served Midwesterners. I purchased a lackluster TGI Fridays frozen appetizer and made for the corner liquor store, where a regular was directing traffic:

Domestics in the back, imports in the front, cigarettes behind the counter. Have your IDs ready people, let's keep this moving!

He didn't work there, he just wanted to get his Fat Tire a little sooner.

I secured my adult beverages just as the second half kick-off was taking place after what must have been the fastest NFL half-time in history. Once everyone saw that the second half was underway, the race was on once again as everyone took off like the Vick brothers in search of a Waffle House.

I got home just in time to see Dominic James knock down two free throws to beat Pitt, and in time to see the Bears completely dominate the game. These next two weeks are going to be infuriating for a Packer Fan in Chicago. But at least I got my snacks and my beer. And I feel like I earned them.

For all you Bear fans out there, courtesy of MDS and Deadspin, here's what that guy was looking for:

Here's Don Majkowski not crossing the line of scrimmage:



  • Sterling Sharpe was always open when the game was on the line, wasn't he?

    Next time send Fast Guy for beers.

    By Blogger Scott H, at 6:24 PM  

  • chicago still has a team?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:35 PM  

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