The Electric Commentary

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Top 10 Good Things About Being A Fan Of The Detroit Lions

Let's cheer up MDS and all of my other friends from Michigan

10. You did get to watch Barry Sanders every week.

9. You always have your January's open.

8. If you're into scouting potential draft picks a la Mel Kiper, you need only examine the wide receivers.

7. You probably enjoyed "Webster" on deeper level.

6. You do have good basketball, baseball, and hockey teams. The Red Wings are still good right? They were last time I paid attention to hockey. Which was in 1995. On a Sega Genesis video game.

5. You can always get a ticket.

4. National Thanksgiving Day audience elicits unprecedented levels of nation-wide sympathy never experienced by fans of Brewers, Clippers, or Browns.

3. Proximity to Canada ensures that Lions' broadcasts are inflicted on actual Canadians, making them overconfident in their puny CFL and allowing America to retain football superiority.

2. Let's face it, naked driving is pretty damn funny, and an NFL coach naked driving is absolutely hysterical. And I'm willing to bet that the Wendy's employee deserved everything that he/she got.

1. You could be a Bear fan. Detroit fans may be cursed, but Bear fans are evil. And don't even get me started on Viking fans. Pound for pound the worst fans in the NFL with their stupid horn and their stupid dome, their whizzinators and sex boats, their WRs hitting meter-maids and their kickers smuggling heroin. (Remember Donald Igwebuike?) Plus we all know that the best NFL yearbook videos feature bad teams, and say things like "with John Kitna providing newfound stability and an improving defense featuring Dre Bly and Shaun Rogers, the Lions will soon be a force to be reckoned with." My favorite of all time prominently featured Bernie Parmalee.

So cheer up, it could be worse. And remember, Matt Millen may never quit, and the Fords may never fire him, but you can still outlive him.


  • I do feel better, thank you. Sega Genesis NHLPA '93 = best game ever, methinks.

    By Anonymous Mike, at 10:24 AM  

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