The Electric Commentary

Friday, January 19, 2007

You can keep your weed in there.

What is dumber?

A. Intercepting a pass on 4th down when simply batting the ball down would ensure victory, showing off instead of taking a knee, getting stripped, and giving your opponent a first down. And then challenging the fumble call, which was obviously a fumble, and costing yourself a timeout.

B. Putting your weed in a secret compartment in a water bottle, and then trying to sneak a water bottle, yes that's right, a water bottle, through airport security. And then, when they ask you to get rid of your water bottle, putting up a stink about it.

It's a close call, I admit, but I think that smuggling drugs (or smuggling a container that contained drugs at some point) in a container that is guaranteed to be searched by security might be the stupidest thing that an athlete has ever done. Way to go Mr. Mexico.

So, who will win this weekend?

I have no idea. I've been terrible at predicting games this year, but I think I have everything figured out.

In the AFC, I'm pretty sure that the Patriots will win. Even though the Colts defense seemed to have miraculously improved, I'll take the 16 weeks of data points indicating that they suck over the last two weeks in which they played against bad offenses. I also have a long-standing theory that the Colts will eventually lose in the playoffs because refs keep their whistles in their pockets during playoff games, which allows the Pats' DBs to beat up Marvin and the WR crew.

And really, are you seriously going to pick the Colts over the Patriots? Not a chance, right?

In the NFC the Bears will win. You see, in the winter, dome/warm weather teams do not win in cold weather venues. It doesn't happen. It's supposed to snow on Sunday too.

To make matters worse for the Saints, their defense does not force turnovers. I believe they have 13 picks on the year, meaning that they are not in a position to exploit one of Chicago's greatest weaknesses. Maybe the Saints will be able to simply outscore the Bears, but I think that the weather will bail Chicago out.

This will set up one of the most storied rivalries in Super Bowl history: The NFC North v. The New England Patriots. In 1986 the Chicago Bears routed the New England Patriots, then in 1997 the Green Bay Packers defeated the Bill Parcells Patriot squad. We're due for another matchup. (And we can look forward to another Packer Super Bowl next decade.)

So take the Pats, the Bears, and remember, if you're going to sneak pot onto a plane, go with a phanny-pack. No one ever suspects the lame weirdo with the phanny-pack.


  • i'll take the colts and the saints...

    my question on the vick thing is-- why the fuck does michael vick have to sneak pot anywhere? it can't really be that hard for michael vick to get whatever drugs he wants wherever he goes, right?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:26 PM  

  • I'll say this about the pick & fumble. Split second reactions that are involved (& pretty much required) in intercepting or deflecting a pass don't involve the thought process. It's often automatic. What isn't is deciding to run instead of falling down on it.

    As for a water bottle and refusing to ditch it... well, hey, there's a reason Vick isn't a good passing QB and it isn't because he lacks the arm.

    By Blogger Scott H, at 5:17 PM  

  • Remember when someone reached your page searching Grossman sodomy or something. Well the runner up to your top ranking by Google was a page which I found amusing. The guy's been predicting the NFL playoff games - with eerie success - using a Tecmo Super Bowl with current rosters.

    By Blogger Scott H, at 12:04 AM  

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