The Electric Commentary

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

10 Things Brewers Fans Have Over Cubs Fans

1. We do not have Jay Mariotti.

2. Wrigley Field may have the worst food in all of sports.

3. We don’t have as many racist or homophobic T-Shirts.

4. We have Bob Uecker. You have Ron Santo.

5. Here are some actual lyrics from “Go Cubs Go”:

“Well this is the year and the Cubs are real
So come on down to Wrigley Field.”

They’re real! Just like Pinocchio! Also, “real” and “field” almost rhyme.

“Baseball season's underway
Well you better get ready for a brand new day”

Hey, why don't I just go and eat some hay. I can lay by the bay, make things out of clay, I just may, what'd ya say?

“So stamp your feet and clap your hands
Chicago Cubs got the greatest fans.”

Did they let Hawk Harrelson write that verse?

(For those who are unfamiliar with The Hawk, he is one of the TV guys for the White Sox, known for his excessive homerism and poor grasp of the English language. When an opposing batter strikes out he simply says “He gone.” He killed Lisa’s grammar robot, Linguo. He also has the worst home run call in the history of baseball. Yes, even worse than Ron Santo’s “Ooooooooooh yes!”)

6. The very best beer at Wrigley Field is Old Style. Ewwww.

7. We never let Ozzy Osbourne or Jeff Gordon sing. Instead we have sausages race.

8. We are allowed to have Friday night games.

9. Our crosstown rivals did not win a World Series in 2005.

10. Aside from all of the scapegoats used by Cubs fans (Bartman, Durham, Brant Brown, etc.) they actually blame and honest-to-god goat. It’s supposed to be a figure of speech, you idiots.

Bonus Thing Packer Fans Have Over Bear Fans

We may not know who our quarterback is, but we know he isn’t Rex.

On the season we’re 4 up, and 4 down. In the words of Al Bundy, let’s rock.


  • Good to see your post invoking "Go, Cubs, Go" by Steve Goodman. He often doesn't get his due. You might be interested in my 800-page biography, "Steve Goodman: Facing the Music." The book delves deeply into the genesis of "A Dying Cub Fan's Last Request" and its semi-sequel, "Go, Cubs, Go."

    You can find out more at my Internet site (below). Amazingly, the book's first printing sold out in just eight months, all 5,000 copies, and a second printing of 5,000 is available now. The second printing includes hundreds of little updates and additions, including 30 more photos for a total of 575. It just won a 2008 IPPY (Independent Publishers Association) silver medal for biography: To order a second-printing copy, see the "online store" page of my site. Just trying to spread word about the book. Feel free to do the same!

    Clay Eals
    1728 California Ave. S.W. #301
    Seattle, WA 98116-1958

    (206) 935-7515
    (206) 484-8008

    By Blogger Clay Eals, at 7:42 PM  

  • Your list was good until you took a shot at Old Style. Your blog is now in-valid.

    By Blogger Jbon, at 11:06 AM  

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